Saturday, March 12, 2011

Death Is Harder For The Living.

It's hard. …When you lose someone who was more than close to you.
There are no words that could ever be said to make it okay.

It never leaves us, the sorrow of losing a loved one. Years later, you'll find yourself in bed, just slightly about to fully awake, when you realize what day it is. That dreadful day. 

Death has a way of crippling us AND waking us up.
It is such an awkward thing. …It makes you, personally, want to curl up and die.
…But at the same time, it makes you want to grasp onto the remaining people in your life and live with them in the most liveliest way possible.

Before death, you probably never would of guessed that it was possible to cry so hard that you'd puke. 
Or that you'd find yourself, years later, looking for someone who you know wont be walking threw the doorway.

Death brings sorrow and grief because the person whom you've loved so dearly is now gone, but it also brings gratefulness and joy. You find yourself grateful and blessed for the mere fact that you were able to know them while they walked amongst us. You find yourself filled with joy, and happy that you've aloud them to impact and change you. You're a better person for knowing them.

You lose yourself when you lose someone who made your world go round. I'm not sure if there is or will ever be a way of getting that part of you back, but in your attempts to process a loss so great… you find other parts of yourself you never knew were there.

It's the hardest thing to ever have to go through, losing someone so close, but its almost just as hard watching someone you love go through it and know that there isn't anything you can say or do to make it better. To know how their feeling inside, and all that you can say is that you're sorry they have to feel this way.

All you can do is be there. ...All we can do is to take one day at a time. Some days will be good, some days you wont feel like moving. ...And even sometimes it just helps to pretend that they're still there... still in the room... sometimes it just helps to pretend that they can hear you when you whisper their name, or that they're going to answer you when you ask a question. Sometimes it helps to pretend to know what it is they're going to say. Sometimes... if you sit real still, and you close your eyes tightly and just relive your favorite moments over and over in your mind, it helps... sometimes.

The greatest challenge for us, isn't to learn to love... it's to learn to grieve and to keep living with the memory of those we love.

<3. Ed, Alice, Jose, Monique, Moe, Roy, and Shiela.  <3.
*EDIT* Miguel, Lorraine, and Katie. <3.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Art is not for the weary.

Everything can become art.
It's not a hobby, it's a lifestyle.

I appreciate someone who can perfectly mesh the precise melody of words to form a statement of beauty so real that it impacts the reader in such a way they want to relive that feeling over and over again. In the right persons mind, words are no longer just words but merely tools to create fine art.

I appreciate when someone can capture life so cleverly with a still shot, that it leaves you in wonder as to why you have yet learned to look at life the way the person behind the lens has learnt to do so.

I appreciate that if put in the right hands, a pencil and paper can become a whole new world filled with wonder and awe.

I appreciate people who will take whatever is at their fingertips and turn it into a piece of something we can all learn to admire and enjoy.

God is the original artist, we merely try to walk in His footsteps and capture His best pieces in our own ways. It's sad that the human race has turned a lot of His unappreciated "pieces" into ashes of almost nothing, however, art gives me hope that with the gifts He has given us we can make Ashes Of Beauty.

I hope to become one of the people I've learnt to appreciate.