Thursday, July 21, 2011

To Procrastinate... Or Not To Procrastinate.

...Should it even be a question??

I don't know what it is, sometimes it seems as though forces of the unknown do everything they can do to keep me from writing. I LOVE writing, but often find myself not doing it. ...I know part of it, is that I have four kids. ...And maybe another part, is the list of multiple other things I enjoy doing. Either way... unfortunately, I don't write enough.

It's sad. A shame, really. I have SO many ideas! SO many possibilities are within my fingertips. SO many adventures are waiting to burst out in ink and run and dance across some pages. ANY pages. I think they'll even settle for a napkin if I'd let them. If I would just stop and let them. If I would just stop making excuses.

I have a poetry book I've been attempting to write forever now. Maybe I feel like I just don't know how to go about it. And I have not one, but a series of ideas for children's books I'd love to do. ...But maybe I feel like sometimes I have no idea what I'm doing. To pick up a pen and write is so easy. However, for a stranger to pick up what you've written and love it... that's a different story.

I hate procrastination. If anything... I hate, hate procrastination. It prevents you from accomplishing your goals and "reaching for the stars". It sucks you down. Down, down, down into nothing. Sucked into 'whatever'. I think the one thing I hate more then procrastination is that I'm a victim of it.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Love Will Never Get Its Justice.


(01) a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.

(02) a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.
(03) sexual passion or desire.
(04) a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart.

(09) affectionate concern for the well-being of others.
(10) strong predilection, enthusiasm, or liking for anything.

(15) to have love or affection for.
(16) to have a profoundly tender, passionate affection for (another person).
(17) to have a strong liking for; take great pleasure in.
(18) to need or require; benefit greatly from
(19) to embrace and kiss (someone), as a lover.

(21) to have love or affection for another person, be in love.
(22) love up, to hug and cuddle.

(25) in love, infused with or feeling deep affection or passion.

Webster doesn't do the word justice.

As of tomorrow, five years ago, I vowed to love a man forever and a day. Every morning, since then, I wake up and still find myself in disbelief of all that I have found. Of all that has found me. Within each of those one thousand eight hundred and twenty five days, I've learnt Webster was probably at a loss for words as he stumbled upon the word "love" while writing the dictionary. Love is far more then any affection, desire, enthusiasm, or concern. It goes far beyond having, or needing a certain individual.

A lot of times, I find, that when I'm talking about how much I truly love my husband, it all sounds so cliche. So scripted.

There are so many things that could be said about love/how we love someone, but like Webster, our words will never do justice. I've erased every letter typed in this post more times then I can count because letters forming words attempting to describe such a feeling seem far too petty. It's a feeling I would "love" to write about, but feel I fall short on every attempt.

I feel, often, that there is no way my husband can know exactly how it is that I feel about him. But alas, the same probably goes the other way around.

It's been half a decade and simply looking at him still makes my heart melt within my chest and scatters goosebumps all over my skin. Not every day has been a party. Not every moment is easy. Sometimes, we can't even catch a break. But the mere fact is that we're still tightly gripping each others hand through and after it all... that is love. There are so many things that could be "better", but I'm SO grateful we started off the way we did, because it means nothing will pry us apart. Webster forgot to mention that love makes the difficult times and moments in life worth living through.

Honestly? I don't ever want it to be too easy. When it's easy, you stop trying. I never want to stop trying. Not ever. And I LOVE that I found the person who tells me when I'm beginning to.

Dempsey&Tina Hernandez